Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Well, why not?

Glenn Reynolds suggests, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, that a "fireball [which] fell from the sky and slammed into southern Peru over the weekend, creating a huge crater that emitted a sickeningly smelly gas" may precipitate an attack of zombies. Anyone who is seriously worried about repelling an onslaught of zombies should visit Zombie Defense Training, a site which contains useful tips which may one day save your life. One handy reference you will definitely want to own is the Zombie Survival Guide, published by Random House. This is serious stuff folks.

I have often thought that a really enterprising screenplay or thriller writer might strike gold writing Zombies Versus al-Qaeda. There are two possible plotlines. The first opens when zombies are about to begin an attack on an unsuspecting town when suddenly they become aware of another threat ... can zombies remember they were once men? The second reverses the scenario. The baddest group of terrorists on the planet is preparing to slaughter the student population of an entire high school when suddenly an attack from the Undead forces the hardened al-Qaeda to consider whether they should join forces with humanity to repel these creatures from beyond the grave ... Sample dialogue: "We're not afraid to die!" "We're already dead!" "I became a zombie on 9/11." "Quick Abdul, the suicide belt. Do you think an IED will stop them?"

Nothing follows.

23 Comments:

Blogger PierreLegrand said...

Zombie's are a product of the ChimpMacHaliburtonHitler war camp trying to scare us into war with those peacelovers from that renowned peaceloving religion/government/way of life...now if you really want to be scared consider this...U.S. Confirms Israeli Strikes Hit Syrian Targets…Saddam’s Nuclear Program Found?

9/18/2007 08:46:00 PM  
Blogger NahnCee said...

How does one tell a zombie from an Arab terrorist? I'm not eager to get close enough to feel for a pulse on either one of them, and I want both of them to be equally dead and not-moving.

I think I'll ask Santa for my very own personal flame thrower for Christmas. Or maybe an early delivery in time for Halloween.

9/18/2007 10:15:00 PM  
Blogger eggplant said...

That "meteorite" that fell in Peru was probably a transfer stage that reentered from orbit. The smelly substance that sickened people might have been hydrazine or nitrogen tetroxide. Both substances are highly toxic.

9/18/2007 10:50:00 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Anbar Awakens Part II: Hell is Over
Michael Totten
---
Michael Totten Ramadi blog post
With Hugh Hewitt
Hewitt: Hour 2 - Hugh spends much of the hour reading the superb blog entry of embed reporter Michael Totten about the turnaround in Ramadi, and takes calls from listeners about it. 33 min

9/18/2007 10:59:00 PM  
Blogger Towering Barbarian said...

Nahncee,
The answer is simple. Zombies have better hygene than the terrorists do. In general the George Romero version usually have better intellect as well. *They* at least are aware that they are in need of brains! ^_~

9/18/2007 11:02:00 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

But do Zombies have teenage male concubines?

9/18/2007 11:06:00 PM  
Blogger Charles said...

Two thoughts on this:


If you're not behind a firewall the internet pirates can easily turn your computer into a zombie for pumping out spam. I had that happen for the first time in a couple years over the weekend. I know what the problem was. Of late I haven't daily scrubbed my system clean of spyware. I've been doing it about once a week. So its back to doing it daily.

Thought two.

I saw a nature program on tv two weeks ago.

When a wave comes ashore and pulls back you can see
the outline of the wave at its highwater mark. You can also see the high tide marks in the sand during the last 24 hours. Scientists found enormous high tide marks with a foot or more of sand & debris a mile or more inland and nearly 1000 feet up hill sides in some of the islands facing the indian ocean. They had to have been caused by waves nearly 1000 feet tall. Carbon dating their debris put them at about 4800 years old. The relative angle of the wash from several sites intersected across the indian ocean off madagascar.

sattelite xray pictures of the seafloor off madagascar showed the signature crator in the seabed where a large asteroid struck. Ocean core samples put the age of the strike about 4800 years ago.

So the theory is that the big highwater marks across the ocean were caused by 1000 foot tsunamis set off by the asteroid strike off madagascar.

A theory I've held for several years is that about 5000 years ago men all over the world first looked up.

The reason for that is that megalithic sites appear starting about 5000 years ago within hundreds of years of each other with astronomical purposes &or references in seperate places like the pyramids in Egypt and stonehenge in England.

Then, within 1000 years of each other sailors navigating by the stars from europe in 1790 AD and the islands off Australia in +-700 AD--arrive in Hawaii. Coastal sailing may have been around for 50,000 years but sailing by the stars is a very recent phenomenan and for very different peoples to have learned to navigated by the stars within 1000 years of each others suggests that all over the world people began to look up speculatively at about the same time. Maybe that time was 5000 years ago when an enormous asteroid--visible to all of eurasia streaked across the sky and turned the night to day before slamming into the ocean off madagascar--& set off some enormous tsunamis.

9/18/2007 11:21:00 PM  
Blogger Alexis said...

The nations of the world will have to unite, for the next war will be an interplanetary war. The nations of the earth must someday make a common front against attack by people from other planets.

-- General Douglas MacArthur


In our obsession with antagonisms of the moment, we often forget how much unites all the members of humanity. Perhaps we need some outside, universal threat to make us realise this common bond. I occasionally think how quickly our differences would vanish if we were facing an alien threat from outside this world.

--Ronald Reagan


I disagree with such sentiments. Whatever else can be said about the Cold War, both the United States and the Soviet Union may very well have united against an alien invasion from outer space. Rational enemies can unite against a common foe.

Today’s climate is different. I would sooner ally myself with alien monsters than ally myself with al-Qaeda in any manner. Al-Qaeda is so much of a threat to civilization that even an alien invasion would be less important unless their dogma were an exact alien replica of the worldview of al-Qaeda. The atrocities of al-Qaeda not only break the boundaries of civilization but they also break the boundaries of common humanity. Just as I would rather be related to a chimpanzee or a pig than be related to Osama bin Laden or Ayman al-Zawahiri, I would rather risk letting a civilized alien race conquer humanity than risk letting al-Qaeda conquer humanity.

9/19/2007 12:20:00 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

Charles:
Do you have Windows Defender running?

I have yet to be victimized by worms or viri.
knock on wood, of course.
I'm running a free virus program too:
Avast!

Also disable User Access Control or whatever in Vista:
Drives me nuts.

9/19/2007 12:38:00 AM  
Blogger bobalharb said...

Zombies deserve a fair trial too, before they are found guilty.

9/19/2007 01:29:00 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

Just don't get caught using the "Z" word.

9/19/2007 04:19:00 AM  
Blogger RWE said...

"Zombies Versus Al Queda" sounds like a hot property, all right. Nhancee has a good point, though: telling them apart would be a challenge.

"Zombies Versus The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team" would be even better film.

9/19/2007 05:10:00 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

Actually, you have the scenario wrong. The LEFT will unite with the zombies to destroy humanity. The ACLU will sue to make sure that zombies receive fair trials. The Senate will pass an amnesty for zombies, and provide them with in-state tuition and health benefits. Hollywood stars will make highly publicized visits to break bread (or something) with zombie leaders. Michael Moore will make a documentary showing that zombies have a superior health care system. The list is endless.

9/19/2007 05:58:00 AM  
Blogger Ed in Kanata said...

Charles: suggest you also refer to Velikvsky's "Earth in Upheaval" for the explanation of what happened 3000-5000 years ago.

9/19/2007 05:58:00 AM  
Blogger Teresita said...

DAN: The ACLU will sue to make sure that zombies receive fair trials. The Senate will pass an amnesty for zombies, and provide them with in-state tuition and health benefits. Hollywood stars will make highly publicized visits to break bread (or something) with zombie leaders. Michael Moore will make a documentary showing that zombies have a superior health care system.

James Dobson will denounce the filthy zombie lifestyle choice as immoral. The zombies will be housed at Gitmo without access to counsel and be renamed "detainees" to avoid assigning them basic rights under the Geneva Convention, such as the right not to be waterboarded. Troops at Gitmo will take snapshots of zombies they have forced to duel each other to the death, and photographs of this abuse will embarrass the Bush administration.

9/19/2007 06:27:00 AM  
Blogger Yashmak said...

The zombies will be housed at Gitmo without access to counsel and be renamed "detainees" to avoid assigning them basic rights under the Geneva Convention, such as the right not to be waterboarded.

And the left will happily declare that the undead deserve such rights.

9/19/2007 07:45:00 AM  
Blogger RWE said...

As they said on Buffy, don't employ prejorative terms such as "Zombie" and "Vampire."

The correct term is "Undead American"......

By the way, it is highly unlikely that an upper stage rentering from orbit would be able to retain any significant amounts of N2O4 or Hydrazine. The stuff would boil off on the way down. However, if it was a lower stage that came down ballistically that would be possible. So who would be firing liquid propellant missiles that would come down in Peru? The Brazilians use solid propellants in theirs.

What were you doing on that day, Hugo Chavez?

9/19/2007 08:29:00 AM  
Blogger NahnCee said...

Hollywood stars will make highly publicized visits to break bread (or something) with zombie leaders.

I believe zombies' preferred sustenance is the brains of the living, with maybe a soupcon of heart tissue on the side. Which means that if they're going to depend upon Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn's brains to feed themselves, they're going to go down very very quickly.

9/19/2007 09:50:00 AM  
Blogger David M said...

Trackbacked by The Thunder Run - Web Reconnaissance for 09/19/2007
A short recon of what’s out there that might draw your attention, updated throughout the day...so check back often.

9/19/2007 10:03:00 AM  
Blogger bobalharb said...

Is it true that all zombies have red hair?

9/19/2007 10:28:00 AM  
Blogger mike said...

"In our obsession with antagonisms of the moment, we often forget how much unites all the members of humanity. Perhaps we need some outside, universal threat to make us realise this common bond. I occasionally think how quickly our differences would vanish if we were facing an alien threat from outside this world.

--Ronald Reagan
"

Anybody read World War Z? The Israelis allow willing Palestinians into Israel just before they withdraw from disputed land and "wall off" the country to the jubilation of the remaining Palestinians in the West Bank and Gaza.

They all (the Palestinians who remain outside Israel) die.

9/19/2007 12:45:00 PM  
Blogger jane said...

Zombie productions get Oscars and Emmys. Dem leadership today: stiff, green, undead Gore, the Beelzebubba soul-sucking Clintons, vampiric blood-sucking trial lawyer Edwards, and now the “white” as a honky ghost Obama, acc to Jesse.

Diversity has come to mean embracing the inhuman.

9/19/2007 01:18:00 PM  
Blogger Southern gal said...

Ah, but since there is no signature on the Geneva Convention that reads "Undead Army," they technically aren't represented by it. And since eating people's brains would break the Geneva Convention anyway, they are not entitled to any rights under it.

9/25/2007 11:52:00 PM  

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