Vampire Power

Thomas Ricker notices a new threat to the planet. Vampire Power. Energy that, unknown to you is being silently sucked out of the grid by insidious technological devices, like your cell phone charger. Flat-screen televisions, computers and other hi-tech gadgets will use nearly half of a typical British household's total electricity by 2020, an energy conservation body said in its report, "The Ampere Strikes Back". (Reuters) Ricker says "we'll take their advice to unplug all our gear once the diesel-powered Engadget home robot is up and working again."

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Many of these energy saving tips are actually quite sensible. There was a time when the only people who cared about them were the subscribers to Popular Mechanics. But ever since Global Warming became the number one danger to the Planet, energy tips have become more important than terrorism advisories. Such innocuous activities as vacation travel, toilet paper use and charging your electric toothbrush have become Climate Crimes. These tips are no longer confined to the back pages of Popular Mechanics. Today they are headlined in world news. Who has not heard of the evil supermarket plastic bag? For years I've been putting groceries in my backpack instead of the checkout plastic bag but only after noticing thousands of people buying green recyclable supermarket bags did I realize that I had anticipated the trend by decades in using the ruck to store the pork n' beans. In fact, I will hazard the guess that a large percentage of all those buyers of recyclable supermarket bags already have a rucksack at home, except that it doesn't say "Save the Planet" on it, making it unsuitable for the purpose. But until I get the Belmont Club steam powered mechanical man up and running, there will be no choice but to use gadgets. And the ruck. Alas.

Nothing follows.