Tuesday, May 01, 2007

They gathered for the feast

Bloomberg news reports:

"Visitors to the Gaia Napa Valley Hotel and Spa won't find the Gideon Bible in the nightstand drawer. Instead, on the bureau will be a copy of 'An Inconvenient Truth,' former Vice President Al Gore's book about global warming. They'll also find the Gaia equipped with waterless urinals, solar lighting and recycled paper as it marches toward becoming California's first hotel certified as 'green,' or benevolent to the environment."

Who said the age of poetry was dead. The Eagles knew what you would find down a dark desert highway.

Her mind is tiffany-twisted, she got the mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the captain,
’please bring me my wine’
He said, ’we haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine’
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the hotel california
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin’ it up at the hotel california
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis


Blogger allen said...

"The erection is a side effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience along with the pain and discomfort"
Brazilian Spider Bite Gives Hours' Long Erection

Eco-erotica and pain as well. Wow!


5/01/2007 07:39:00 PM  
Blogger bobalharb said...

You're just making that up.

5/01/2007 09:18:00 PM  
Blogger allen said...


No, I am not; and tomorrow I'm going to order one of those spiders from the same internet supplier of my other needful pharmaceuticals.

As a Boomer, I owe myself the satisfaction of vigorous Golden Years.

Or not.

5/01/2007 09:35:00 PM  
Blogger bobalharb said...

No, I meant, you're making that up;)

5/01/2007 11:01:00 PM  
Blogger allen said...

As a farmer you would be ideally placed to start a brand new line of eco-friendly products, as the breeder of the Idaho Bone Rocket line of Brazilian spiders.

Why, with a modest investment in floor space and personnel, you could even market the newly fashionable bondage paraphernalia that would naturally evolve from arachnid discipline products sought by flush weekenders looking for therapeutic, eco-respectful pain and ecstasy. As an aside, do keep those Gideon Bibles – Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!

If you could see your way to erecting modestly sized, weekend-rate, pain palaces, Mr. Gore would beat a wide path to your door. Compliments and organic cabernet would flow touting the energy saved during the supine weekends spent bare-arsed poking around the farm.

There is a fortune to be made here by a sensitive, eco-friendly, non-judgmental entrepreneur. On a cautionary note, always keep gerbils on hand for the real aficionados of non-tradition colon cleansing.

5/01/2007 11:01:00 PM  
Blogger bobalharb said...

Now there is a series of suggestions I'll do some hard thinking about, at long last.

5/01/2007 11:13:00 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Breasts Not Bombs, Dicks, not Death

Highlights on this page:

On cue, the Bay Area's most notorious nude anarchist showed up as well -- fortunately, this time he had neglected to inflate his scrotum to gargantuan proportions as he had done the last time I met him. Only some minor swelling remained.

If there's anything better than revolutionary nudity, it's revolutionary transgendered nudity. Most of the participants were readily identifiable as either male or female, but this bearded, breasted, tattooed protester dared to challenge our outmoded gender labels.

The main drawback to repeatedly inflating your scrotum is that it tends to make your wee-wee look smaller and smaller.

The First Dysfunctional Family

5/02/2007 03:14:00 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

Nude Protest and Photo Shoot at Memorial Oak Grove

Tree Huggers and Hangers

Big Mama

Narrated Slideshow

You Tube: Harassed and Accosted by Campus Police

5/02/2007 03:14:00 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

Man, I miss Beserkeley,

Heck, now I could BE Miss Beserkeley!

5/02/2007 03:17:00 AM  
Blogger ADE said...


You'd look better in a sack, covering those man boobs...


5/02/2007 05:46:00 AM  
Blogger jane said...

So I called up the captain,
‘please bring me my wine’

Next week am going with twenty friends or so on a buying expedition to Sonoma. We’re going to be very green about it, too: bicycling between vineyards, spending lots of green for product and going a little green around the gills from too much sampling.

For added measure, we’ll try some organic, sustainable and biodynamic wine, and I will try to rent a spring green bicycle.

5/02/2007 06:59:00 AM  
Blogger 3Case said...

All so fat n' flabby...sheep.

5/02/2007 07:31:00 AM  
Blogger Jamie Irons said...

Every day on my way to work I pass the "Gaia," which is a local laughingstock even among those who consider themselves "green."

It is part of what is rapidly becoming a continuous, hideous strip mall occupying what were formerly vineyards and pasture between Napa and Vallejo along California State Route 29.

It would have been much "greener" never to have built the thing.

Jamie Irons

5/02/2007 08:00:00 AM  
Blogger Jrod said...

The Inconvenient Truth reader supplanting the Good Book on the nightstand. Proof positive that Environmentalism in it's current hyperventilating form is a religion; complete with all the same trappings.

5/02/2007 12:48:00 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Paul Erdman, RIP.
He enjoyed your beautiful environs.

5/02/2007 01:37:00 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

In 1969, my best friend took his wife, me, and my girlfriend on that tour in the Original Austin Mini-Cooper!
It was more than a foot shorter than the present BMW Model.
We was close!
Perfect Peter Sellers car.

5/02/2007 01:40:00 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Thanks for choosing a Blue Model.

5/02/2007 01:45:00 PM  
Blogger jane said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5/02/2007 02:27:00 PM  
Blogger jane said...

Now THAT’s cooped up, Doug. Hope you got pictures of that vintage ride. The “wine” and music must’ve been perfect, too.

Last summer, daughter got an early 80s VW Vanagon for cross-country travel and filming. While it’s not from real hippie or mod times, it still screams for daisy decals. She also was given a white 70s Caddie pimpmobile all tricked out with red velvet and love lights that she and crew drove all the way to CA before passing on to a deserving soul who didn’t care about MPG. Not all good Californians are green, and that's why it still rains (Gaia weeps) there.

5/02/2007 02:30:00 PM  
Blogger Alex Sloat said...

I have a sudden urge to go to that hotel, leave all the lights on, and run the water all night. Oh, and swap in a Gideon Bible, just to really confuse them.

5/02/2007 05:32:00 PM  

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