Thursday, July 12, 2007

We don't need no steenkin' badgers

After the BBC reported that residents of Basra believed in rumors that bear-sized, ferocious badgers released by the British Army were terrorizing the locality, the British MOD has been compelled to issue a denial. UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer said: "We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area."

Nothing (I hope) follows.


Blogger Cedarford said...

The giant badgers were drawn by the scent of baked 11-year old Iraqi boys!


7/12/2007 09:40:00 PM  
Blogger wretchardthecat said...

From the Times Online:

“We have not released giant badgers in Basra, and nor have we been collecting eggs and releasing serpents into the Shatt al-Arab river,” said Major David Gell, the British Army spokesman in Basra. ... Scientists have speculated that the badgers’ numbers are on the increase because of efforts to reflood the marshlands north of Basra that Saddam Hussen had drained to quell an insurgency among Shia Marsh Arabs.

But neither scientific explanations nor military denials have done much to calm the fears of the populace, some of whom have now organised night patrols to keep the terrifying creatures at bay. “I was sleeping at night when this strange animal hit me on my head,” said Suad Hassan, 30. “I have not seen such an animal before. My husband hurried to shoot it but it was as swift as a deer. It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey. It runs so quickly.”

Sattar Jabbar, a 50-year-old farmer, claimed to have seen the badger tackling prey many times its own size. “I saw it three days ago at night attacking animals. It even ate a cow. It tore the cow up piece by piece,” he said. “I tried to shoot it with my gun but it ran away into the orchards. I missed it,” he said.

Major Gell said that Basrawis should have little to fear from the beast, but urged them to keep their distance nonetheless: “If you cornered it and poked it with a stick, the smart money would be on the badger.”

7/13/2007 03:50:00 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

Well, in fairness you might recall that in 2004 Allah sent some giant spiders to fight US troops.

7/13/2007 08:59:00 AM  
Blogger Nate said...

No doubt that this will be added to the long list of grieveances the Islamists/leftists have against the West.

7/13/2007 06:46:00 PM  
Blogger Fat Man said...

Well it's probably not this one.

Wait. Just a minute: Dobbs: If you're the police, where are your badgers?

Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers.

7/13/2007 07:59:00 PM  

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